Thoughts triggered by the movie “The Help”

S. and I went to the movie recently and it triggered memories of my girlhood and our black housekeeper Ida Mae. I grew up in Omaha in the 1960’s so some of my life is similar to the time setting of the movie, but it wasn’t the deep south. Ida Mae had her employers deduct her social security from her wages and she did not wear a uniform. She had no childcare responsibilities only housekeeping ones. She took the bus to our neighborhood and my mom picked her up at the bus stop. She was our friend and I recall my mom working alongside her on cleaning days doing chores of her own. I loved Ida Mae and still feel sad that I wasn’t really able to say a goodbye. I heard of her illness and death well after the fact. She had moved back to her “people” in Port Arthur, Texas in her senior years after she could no longer work and no doubt lived on her meager social security checks. 

Ida Mae called me “Miss Lou” even though I had told her she did not have to. That was her background, I do not know how much actual education she had but she had a dyslexic signature like a child. We exchanged Christmas cards long after I left home to go to college and then married. I sent her photos of my kids. She wrote back asking for prayers and including little bits of wisdom and news. She was humble and gentle and laughed easily. She had no spite in her yet she would tell stories of doing the housekeeping and cooking for orthodox Jewish women and all the extra work that was involved in keeping the Kosher rules during holidays. I can’t imagine her ever baking the infamous chocolate pie like Millie in the movie. She had a difficult life, I don’t know whether she was widowed or divorced but one of her son’s had mental disabilities from his service in the Vietnam war I think and she was raising a grandson who gave her trouble. She had a strong faith and her church meant a great deal to her. She had funny ways of saying things. I remember her telling me “don’t take any wooden nickels” when I started college. She cleaned the old fashioned way scrubbing floors on her arthritic hands and knees, she wouldn’t use a mop. She could make a bathroom shine.

When I saw the scene in the movie where the main character is given a copy of the book signed by all the other maids and noticed all the perfect cursive signatures I knew that wasn’t authentic. I knew Ida Mae’s signature and bet most of the other maids of her era would have signed similarly given their lack of educational opportunities. 

The movie is a portrayal of a certain time and place and it is good for people today to know how things were then. It was a sad time for our nation, things are different now but the poverty and lack of opportunity continue for many today. Injustices will always remain this side of heaven, what matters is how we deal with what we are given.

I still love Ida Mae for her way of encouraging others and making the best of things. She trusted in her Lord Jesus and leaned on Him. She was a gentle soul. 

Lou